In today’s society, practically everyone lives a hurried lifestyle. As a result, your spouse may not always be as pleasant as you would like him or her to be. However, there are people who are consistently moody. People who are short-tempered often become moody and irritable for different reasons.
Some people become irritable quickly because they are very sensitive people and take things very seriously to heart, resulting in frustration. Others are moody because they are perfectionists, causing them to become frustrated with themselves and others very easily.
According to Dr. Daniel K. Hall-Flavin, a psychiatrist at the Mayo Clinic and writer of the article “Coping With Anxiety, Can Diet Make a Difference?” dated May 7, 2009, some people are moody due to food allergies and poor eating habits. However, according to another Mayo Clinic article, “Bipolar Disorder,” dated January 5, 2010, there are some people who are moody due to chemical imbalances in their brain and may have a condition referred to as bipolar requiring medical attention. On the other hand, others are moody and short tempered due to anger and bitterness needing emotional healing.
Conversely, people who are temperamental, oftentimes, desire to have better control of their emotions and are having a hard time with it. Nonetheless, regardless of the reason for your mate’s moodiness, if you love your mate and as long as your mate is not dangerous or unbearably volatile, there are a few things that you can try to keep peace in your marriage and home.
Choose to Keep Your Joy
When your spouse is moody and grumpy, choosing to remain calm and pleasantly nice can be a difficult thing to do because you often feel offended and like you’re being abused. However, in order to maintain the joy and peace that you had before encountering your moody mate at that moment, you will need to remain calm. If you give in to the strife and begin to argue as well, it will do nothing to improve the situation. Worse, it may cause further problems.
If you give a soft answer, instead, the frustration within your spouse will, more than likely, come to an end much sooner. When your mate sees how you remain calm in difficult situations, it may also encourage her to work on herself to become a less moody person.
Get an Understanding
Try to get an understanding of what’s bothering your mate. She may be at a point where she’s ready to talk about what’s irritating her and to get it off her chest. If not, then, lovingly, let your mate know that you love her and that you’re available if she wants to talk later. Once you’ve let her know that you’re there for her, give her some space and time alone to think and calm down.
Be Patient and Try to Make Life a Little Easier for Your Spouse
Because you know that your mate can be temperamental, it’s a good idea to do things for your mate that will make his life a little easier and less frustrating from day to day. If you have a moody husband, you can make sure that you have a clean house and dinner hot and ready when he comes home from work.
If you have a moody wife, help her with the dishes after dinner, wash clothes, buy her flowers and take her out to dinner. Do something for her that she will really appreciate. The key is to treat your mate like you would want your mate to treat you if you were the moody one.
Warning: If you feel that you have a mate whose volatile behavior is dangerous to you or your children, you should seek immediate counsel and help.
Three Ways to Keep a Marriage Alive
Every day routine, stress, career problems, finances, and taking care of children are sure to suck the life out of any marriage. Physical and emotional intimacy between the spouses suffers constantly due to the fact that long lasting relationship and raising a family are always challenging and exhausting. Dr. William Doherty (Professor of Psychology ,University of Minnesota) refers to marriage as a “continual learning process.” It is important to investigate what is it exactly that kills passion in a relationship and to figure out the ways to bring it back. Here are three most common reasons for joyless marriages and ways to deal with them:
Dealing With Constant Stress in a Marriage
Most married people are so busy and overwhelmed these days that they have no physical or emotional energy for romance. Busy schedules and work-related stress lower both male and female libidos and deprive thousands of married couples of sex and intimacy.
The only salvation from this viscous cycle is finding ways to relax. A 10-minute bath with a few drops of lavender or jasmine oil is a powerful natural tool to regain some energy. Most working people are cooped up in their offices, cars and homes the majority of the time. Make sure to breathe some fresh air at least a few minutes a day. Any amount of exercise is proven to reduce stress and moreover physical activity releases endorphins – the hormones of happiness essential for good sex life.
Not Feeling Attractive Common Among Married Women
This problem is more common for women. The overwhelming majority of ladies are unhappy about their looks. Almost 50% of women prefer having sex with lights off and under the influence of alcohol due to their inferiority complex. Many busy wives and mothers just don’t feel sexy enough to have sex.
Although it’s common knowledge that men are visual creatures, who says they only see flaws? Most people (men and women) don’t look like movie stars and super models and that does not mean they don’t deserve to experience romance and passion. Give yourself some credit, concentrate on merits instead of demerits. Use make-up, buy new clothes, see a hairdresser – whatever it takes to feel attractive. Dieting and exercising are more demanding decisions that take time and a lot of patience, but in the end they contribute a great deal to a woman’s self-image.
Tackle Unresolved Marital Issues
Most people dislike conflicts, but avoiding confrontations at any cost and keeping all the unexpressed claims bottled up can seriously hurt any relationship. If a wife has been secretly outraged for years about her husband not paying enough attention to her, throwing his dirty underwear on the floor or leaving dishes in a sink, she is likely to become physically disgusted by him at some point. The husband in turn will feel rejected, frustrated and even desperate enough to turn for comfort elsewhere.
Sincerity in a relationship is priceless. Of course it is important not to overdo it and avoid statements like “you look awful today” or “ I was fantasizing about our next door neighbor last time we had sex.” However, discussing problems and hurt feelings that inevitably occur in every serious relationship will provide both partners with emotional closeness and understanding.
As cynical as it may sound romance needs to be scheduled just like work meetings, parent-teacher conferences and grocery shopping. Busy couples in today’s society have no time for spontaneous romance. The only way out is to make time. Pick a day and time convenient for both partners, hire a babysitter and have a break from the exhausting work life and parenting – fall in love all over again even if it’s just for a couple of hours!